Shadows in the Dark
by DancingPhalangess
Summary: Merlin's destiny is forcing him to make a terrible decision. Mergana. Oneshot.


_**A one shot set in series 2 of Merlin before the Morgana we all know and love became a plank face. Special thanks to my beta Naisa, check out some of her stuff if you're a Mergana shipper, or just like fan fiction. **_

_**Merry Christmas all :) **_

_Merlin stumbled down the dark, stone corridor, the words of the Dragon resounding in his head. The dim light of the flamed torches flickered, casting their shadows on the walls. They surrounded him, their icy grip freezing his insides and clutching his heart so hard they left indents of their shape. He did not feel the heat of the flames in their brackets, just the increased cold once he had passed them. He was alone, but the shadows attacked him and the Dragon roared inside his head. _

_ He could feel it in his pocket. Its heavy, dead weight threatening to drag him right to the ground. Its sharp edge burrowed into his leg and he wished it would dig hard enough to slice through the skin. It burned straight through the material of his trousers, a physical weight of the destiny that had twisted and betrayed him. _

_ The end of the corridor came all too soon and the light from her chambers chased away the shadows to make way for raging demons in their place. He prayed she would not be there tonight. Perhaps she would be dining with the King, or have already fallen asleep, but he already knew that wasn't possible. Her door was open just a crack, an invitation for him to come in, and the candles were still lit. The door creaked quietly as he pushed it open wide enough to slip through. _

_...through her blackened heart..._

"_Merlin," his name fell from her lips with a smile he could hardly stand to look at. Then her hands were in his, warm and smooth. Her spell was immediate, he felt a smile spreading across his face in return to hers, uncontrolled by himself. His fingers clasped around hers and she lifted her head at the same time as he bent his, their lips meeting in a soft kiss. His heart was caught in her warm hands, her very touch pumping the blood around his body and keeping the organ beating._

_...cold..._

_Morgana's lips pressed more firmly against his and her hands tightened their grip, as if she knew of the thoughts that attacked one another in his head, or of the scream that only grew louder with each passing second. Merlin closed his eyes and took one hand out of hers, using it instead to wrap around her waist and pull her body hard against his own. Morgana used her free hand to reach behind them and bolt the wooden door, aware even amongst her wildly beating heart and melting thoughts that they could never be caught together. _

_ Merlin's hand was pressed firmly against the small of her back, his other hand entwined with hers, but it was not until they broke the kiss and he gazed into her warm, emerald eyes that he was truly able to relax. The shadows that had been plaguing him since he had stepped out of the cave slunk back into the darkness and he was left in the flickering light of the candles with her. _

_ "I thought of you whilst I was dining with the King," she teased, the candles shining behind her eyes. They were more than candles, they were stars, twinkling in the pale moonlight that crept across the stone that the flames could not reach. "The servant bringing us our meal stumbled over his own feet and sent the water jug crashing across the floor." _

_Merlin chuckled. "I bet the King appreciated that." _

"_I have the feeling he would have been much more severely punished had I not been there. The poor soul reminded me so much of you that I could not see him thrown into the stocks over something so trivial." _

_...powers we cannot imagine..._

_Merlin bent his head to kiss her again, but Morgana ducked out of the way and backed away from him, a grin dancing across her lips and fuelling the twinkling stars. _

_ "No more until you prove your love." Merlin raised his eyebrows. He was used to her teasing, but her words struck the core of his heart, stirring up the ones he had heart just minutes previously. _

_...loves nothing but power..._

_Merlin shook his head to silence them, but now she was away from him and he could no longer feel the warmth of her hands, the shadows crept back into the room, circling him slowly, preparing to pounce. They filled not just his own presence, but cast their darkness over Morgana too, surrounding her. She seemed not to notice, her smile only grew as she watched Merlin rooted to the spot, gazing at her with a wide eyed horror. She thought it was part of the game, his reaction to her teasing. _

_ "Morgana." Her name barely left his mouth, it fell amongst the shadows where it was instantly devoured, never having the chance to reach her ears. He reached out for her, his fingers stretching across the space between them. If he could only touch her, the shadows would be gone again. They could not linger where there was such love, they were born from hatred, fear and revenge. They were everything she was not. His fingers closed together, but there was nothing but shadows between them. The smile had not faded from her expression, she believed in the game, she could not see the shadows, she did not know of the darkness that surrounded her. _

_ "Morgana," he spoke her name again, loud enough to reach her at the same time as his hand dug into his pocket for the item that wanted to drag him to the floor to be with the shadows. His fingers closed around the cold handle and he lifted his hand out of his pocket where it came to rest by his side. The weight of it was ebbing away, slowly. It no longer had the power over him it once had, because he knew he could not. She was not that person and neither was he. _

_ "Merlin," Morgana's smile faded, the stars dimming their light as she studied his expression, finally realising the presence of the shadows. "What is it?" _

_ "I-there's something I have to tell you." She knew about his magic and the destiny he had come to Camelot to fulfil, she knew about the Dragon and the advice he had given in the past, she knew about some of the terrible choices Merlin had been forced to make and she still loved him. He just hoped that would remain when she knew what he had came so close to doing. _

_ "What? What is it? Merlin?" He did not immediately answer her. It was her voice, it was far more gentle and warm than anything he deserved, and perhaps the last time he would hear her speak to him in that way. Merlin closed his eyes and felt a tear trickle from underneath his eyelid. Something that Morgana did not miss. He did not see her step forwards, slowly at first, as if she could see the shadows. He did not see her pace quicken, but he did hear the soft pad of her bare feel against the stone floor. _

_ His eyes shot open, wide in horror at the scene that was unfolding before him. His hand would not move, his mouth would not work. He could not even call her name. His body would not react how his mind willed it until he felt her arms around him and heard the soft gasp, the only sound that could escape her lips. He felt the warmth spread across his hands once again, but they were not tucked in hers. _

_ Finally, the handle fell from his fingers, but the damage was already there. He did not hear it clatter to the floor and knew he would look and see it there, the blade still embedded into her side. Morgana's eyes were wide in shock and pain as her gaze fell to his, but she did not step away. Her arms stayed around his neck until the strength left them and she was relying on his hold. The pair sunk to the floor, along with the droplets of blood that splashed onto the stone. The shock in her gaze gave way to fear, but Merlin could not even find the words to comfort her. _

_ His mind closed to the horror of what he had done and he could see nothing but her thoughts that flashed through her eyes in the final moments she breathed. When the final fragment of life left her, the agony of the last look tore through his heart, shredding it to unrepairable pieces. It was not what he had done that broke him, it was not the fear, the horror and the betrayal he saw before she died, it was not not even the loss of the woman he loved more than anyone else in the world, but that final gaze of forgiveness. _

_**Please review and tell me what you thought :) Constructive criticism would be appreciated rather than flames. I shall use those to toast marshmallows. **_


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